Thursday, December 2, 2010


*disclaimer*disclosure*warning* ;)  The following post is highly personal and emotional.  I'm mainly posting if for a few close friends who read, but if you need a good cry, and promise not to tell me to get my big girl panties on, and get over it....feel free to read on.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tonight we got in after dark to my Dad's deer camp.  Always before he'd had a TV in his 5th wheel, well, he took it out...  So, after we got unpacked and the girls and I were settled in, we thought we could watch a movie on the laptop.  I started looking around, thinking he surely had a DVD stashed somewhere... Well, no DVD, but I did find something, that for me is a treasure.... 

Let me back up, just a bit.

My brother was married in October of 2006.  There were several people taking pictures, besides the photographer.  So, for a while afterwards, we would receive pictures from one family member or another.  ALL very welcome. ;)  In the late summer of 2007, Sweet Memory gave me a Ziploc bag of pictures.  Did you know she was a Kindergarten teacher?  She kept EVERYTHING in Ziploc baggies. Lol! 

Inside that bag I found pictures, that were good, and soon would become my favorites.  I wanted so much to take them to have some editing done, after we lost her, but only had the copies I had and was afraid to let them out of my sight. By now, you know where this is going.  The treasure found was the  CD with photos I had, and more...of a time past, when all seemed right in the world.

Wanna see?
                                 Oh, happy day!  My  Dad, Brother, and my Mom. 

Hehehe... This picture caught us unaware, and for that I love it.  Kind of like life. ;)

My Grandma.  She called me "my girl."  She went on Home, December 1, of last year.  Yes, exactly one year ago, I was sitting by her bed, holding her hand, and even though she couldn't speak, she gave me the same look you see in this photo.  Loved her, love her....still.  Home was just as much her house, as my own.  The "Sew Sow" in the title of this blog?  She's the reason... How else would I know that strawberries grow great in the asparagus patch?

My favorite.
This photo of us...makes my heart swell and eyes water... So wish I knew what was so funny.  This was not an uncommon sight or occurrence.  Laughter came easy in our home and family.   Scott and David are sweethearts, but I'm having this one edited(now that I've got the file).  There the three of us are laughing, with my Dad standing in the background.  Always, like our Northern Star, our rock, the one who made it so easy to believe in a Heavenly Father, because he was a living, breathing reflection of Him.  Mom said she knew I needed something, when I would call from school and ask for Dad.  Sorry, Dad, should have called just to say, "hello." 

And finally,
My parents, together, smiling...just as it should be.  What would I have changed if I had known, that just 369 days later we would be gathered in a cool room in disbelief.  Holding her hand as the breath left her body for the last time and her heart slowly...stopped...beating.

Post Script.... It's taken me a couple of days to work up the nerve to post this...still not sure...I will say that God is faithful, and most days I'm in a really good place. :)


Mary Lou Casada said...

BEAUTIFUL post, Jan!! And we never, never, never get past missing our mommas!! Mine went home nearly four years ago, and still I tear up when I wanna show her a quilt or talk about the babies (all nearly grown now, of course :-) --
Won't the "glad reunion day" as the old gospel song calls it, be grand!?!
Mary Lou

Sewgreen said...

That is such a sweet post!! I am so glad you were able to find the pictures!!!

Sarah Kate said...


Love ya!

Michelle said...

Loved the photos. They are a treasure. Big Sis has started CDing all our memories for the family.